LoD Jokes Thread :

[J]

Official LoD Jokes Thread.


Angel make it a sticky in funny stuff :

Ill start us off.



Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?"
Girl: "How do you play that?"
Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop."
Girl: "Okay, let's play."
After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."

[CommanderTster]

LOL,
Here is a classic one from White chicks, first put some flour in your hands then say:
"Yo mama is so old that when she breast feeds, It comes out as powder"

AFTER SAYING THAT, PUT YOUR HANDS TO GETHER AND BLOW THE POWDER THROUGH THEM

[AngelFallz]

HAHAHA LMAO at jays joke, you sick minded kid haha xD.

I've got 2 jokes.

First One:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.



The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”



The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”



There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

Second One:


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

[J]

LOL Angel!

Heres some. BTW I go to a website sickipedia.com

its really rude though, makes fun of everything, catholics ect like all religions and diseases and stuff. So if you go on it, don't feel offended, everyone gets offended by it. Also by the way, these are posted by adults, so some of them are weird for me, you'll be like for this joke, well duh, but no this was not made by me.
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Just saw a Facebook group: "Hi, I'm a bra. I touch your girlfriend's boobs every day... Jealous yet? ;D"

Joke's on them, my girlfriend doesn't need a bra yet
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I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!"

To which I replied:

"8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."
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I've just upgraded to Sky HD.

I'm impressed.
The phrase 'No satellite signal is being received' has never been so colourful and clear.
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The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball at our son.

To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward.
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[AngelFallz]

HAHAHAA I love the facebook one haha .

"Yo moms so fat that when she was swimming in the middle of the ocean and the whales saw her they sang "We are family".

Lmao im still thinking about the fire truck joke hahaa thats the best joke I ever heard till now .

[zdeadlyhecz]

i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks

[RENEGADE1323]

Theres a Blonde, brunette and a red haired girl.... they go camping for a week but get lost.....

Day 1: The Brunette goes out hunting and comes back with a deer.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get that deer?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a deer!

Day 2: The Red Head goes hunting and comes back with a elephant.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get the elephant?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a elephant!

Day 3: The Blonde goes hunting and comes back all beaten up.. the 2 girls ask her ," What happened?" she says: i followed the track and BOOM i got hit by a train!

[AngelFallz]

i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks

LMAO XD Nice one hahaha .

[AngelFallz]

Theres a Blonde, brunette and a red haired girl.... they go camping for a week but get lost.....

Day 1: The Brunette goes out hunting and comes back with a deer.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get that deer?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a deer!

Day 2: The Red Head goes hunting and comes back with a elephant.. the 2 other girls ask ,"where did you get the elephant?" she says: i followed the tracks and Boom i got a elephant!

Day 3: The Blonde goes hunting and comes back all beaten up.. the 2 girls ask her ," What happened?" she says: i followed the track and BOOM i got hit by a train!

Rofl nice one haha

[zdeadlyhecz]

lol thx anglefallz i now its like dirty and stuff but its actually funny most dirty jokes are the funniest

[CommanderTster]

i got one

Alice: dorctor doctor i keep seing double
doctor:okay please take a seat on the couch.
Alice:witch one?

dirty one:

me angleFallz and jay go to a ski trip and we go to are room at the hotel and zdeadly calles the left bed angle calls the middle one and jay calls the bed on the right.so in the morning we wake up and zdeadly says i hade the crazyest dream felt like someone was giving me a handjob and jay says me to and angle says i dont know about you guys but i was skieing lol no affence angle just dont get mad its a joke and for youguys who dont get it hes in the middle skieing witch means hes using his ands for the 2 sticks

Use some punctuation please.

[RENEGADE1323]

doesnt matter tster... i can still read it

[CommanderTster]

I cant.

There were 3 women, a brunnete, a redhead and a blonde.
The police are chasing them, and suddenly they see a farm, the brunnete notices some sacks that they could hide in and says "Come everyone, lets hide in the sacks".

The brunnete hides in a sack of kittens.
The redhead hides in a sack of dogs.
The blonde hides in a sack of potatoes.

The police come to the farm and near the sacks. An officer says "Lets check these sacks". Another officer says " No need, just listen".

The brunnete goes "Meow, Meow", The officers say "just a cat",
The redhead goes "Ruff, Ruff, The officers say "just a dog,
Finally the blonde goes "Potato, Potato".

[J]

LOL!

[zdeadlyhecz]

lol what a fail patato patato LOL fail

[RENEGADE1323]

lol... potato

[Michael1]

lmao jay sikapedia is awesome

[NY_loves_METV]

i have a joke
but its more to dis someone

were u born on the highway cause thats were most accidents happen

[J]

Lmfao NY! That's old xD

[Michael1]

lol lol lol lol

[NY_loves_METV]

Lmfao NY! That's old xD

i know
but it just makes me laugh

[PredatorSoulzz]

i got thousands of jokes on swedish but zer00000 on English

[RENEGADE1323]

lol translate?

[NY_loves_METV]

lol translate?

haha
deh???

[PredatorSoulzz]

well translating isnt easy, like it might be funny when u say it on swedish then on english you think like, uhhh wtf lol

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